Yes, I Lied

Those words may not sound like a big issue for many people. For me, however, I do not lie. It i said by whoever "they" are that there is such a thing as a lie of omission. I do not consider that a lie. For example there have many times i have cut and not told anyone--including my counselor. It seems pointless to share that . There is nothing she can do and I do not want to upset her.

The lie i am speaking of (this time) was an out right, bold faced lie. A good friend asked if I was okay? I said yes even thought i had cut the night before and loneliness was enveloping me like a black cloak. I can keep the loneliness at bay but it does re surface every few weeks and I am an emotional mess. So,what did I lie? And i think many of you will understand. Because I feel like a burden and she must be tired of me and the issues that never get better.

I honestly believe I will not back track and tell her that i lied. It does not matter. If this issue can not be resolved or worked on I am not bothering anyone about it. I will lock it away til it breaks thru again. I want to FIX not only talk about the problem. She has told me i am not a burden, yet i feel that in every molecule of my being. ** My definition of loneliness is more focused on finding romantic love and someone to hold me.**


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