Take Back You r Power
I am not sure how to interrupt this advice. Take back my power? What power? Are they referring to the power that was taken from me every time one of those men hurt me? But, I am still unclear. Are they saying the power to control my destiny, life and dreams? Are they telling me not to hurt myself with words, actions, and beliefs that i was made to believe were true? I do know i am in control of my life and that includes what i think and do. Now, i also know that the past pain does affect me and sometimes overwhelms me and i have to hide.
I can not control anyone else or what they say or do and I do not want to. There are other items i feel i have no control over. They are my depression and PTSD symptoms To the surprise and delight (I think). of my close friends I decided to try an antidepressant. Deep down I still have to be strong and heal without medication so this decision was very diffciult. I want to be in control and be in charge of my body and what happens to it. That control i do not want to give up now that i have it back.
I saw a quote recently and it stated the best way to take back your power is self care. I am not sure I agree.....actually i do not understand. I do eat (not great), exercise, rest and do things i enjoy. I am not interested in a social life and that is not a bad thing. I do not date as I am too ugly and that is my choice. That is me making a choice that I can make. Now. I guess you can think that the abusers still have some power over me since I will not date. They did teach me i am only good for sex and what they did made me ugly and unlovable. Perhaps that is the power they refer to? Perhaps the "power" is different for each of us. HUmm..something to ponder.